…Adults don’t eat ice cream, I thought…
“Mom, aren’t you going to eat?”
“It’s fine. Adults show fat and sugar right away. Now, hurry up and eat.”
…I didn’t come this far alone…
…There’s someone I want to follow, someone who makes me lunch every morning…
“Mom, your birthday is coming up, right? Here, a hot spring ticket for your birthday present. Dad and I prepared it. I’ll eat at the school cafeteria that day, and Dad and I will cook dinner, so you can have a full day to relax.”
“Is it my good parenting?”
“I’m home!”
“Welcome back. How was it?”
“It was the best! Thank you. Oh, by the way, I did some shopping at the station on the way back. I bought new practice clothes for Daiki since his old ones are getting worn out. I also got sports drink powder at a discount and used points to get 500 yen off. The socks were expensive, though. Oh, and it’s Mom’s birthday, you know.”
“I’m always Daiki’s mom, after all.”
“Thirty-seven ice cream, isn’t it!”
“It’s because it’s Mom’s birthday.”
“Did Mom like ice cream?”
“I love it!”
“But back then…”
“It’s hard to eat while taking care of kids.”
…Someone prioritized me over themselves and raised me with care, so I can now eat cherry tomatoes. Though I can’t shoot beams anymore, let me treat you to ice cream today. To say thank you…
This is a flashback with Daiki’s family from “Blue Box.”
What kind of personality do you have?
I have a high level of “Openness” and a low level of “Extraversion.” In fact, my “Extraversion” is lower than 95% of people. As a result, I prefer being alone rather than with others, and I like to build deep relationships with a few people rather than many shallow ones.
However, because of my high level of “Openness,” I love going to unknown places and acquiring new knowledge, despite my low “Extraversion.” I enjoy going to unfamiliar places and trying new things.
Both chatty, highly “Extraverted” children and “Introverted” children who prefer self-dialogue can acquire social skills.
Just like eating, walking, and talking, interacting with others is a skill that can be learned and refined through practice. Social skills are difficult for the developing brains of children to grasp. It can be challenging for a child’s brain to understand when to speak up if a friend is being teased or if a passerby’s appearance is unusual.
However, fortunately, children develop social skills as they grow. In my line of work, I often encounter adults who haven’t developed these skills, which sometimes makes me skeptical.
The best way to foster a child’s social skills is through conversation with their parents.
The ability to recognize and understand others’ emotions plays a crucial role in social life. Understanding how emotions and actions are connected helps children interact smoothly with others.
There are numerous opportunities to teach this skill. For example, while reading a book together, you can discuss what happened and connect the characters’ emotions and actions.
“Why was the rabbit so angry?” “How did the pig feel when the elephant took its toy?”
Incidentally, American parents and children often read picture books this way, discussing feelings and events as they go. In contrast, Japanese parents typically read the book straight through without such interruptions. This difference reflects the educational approaches in each culture, with Japan’s more didactic “brainwashing education” also influencing Japanese parenting.
This is my personal belief, but if possible, one parent should stay home or work minimally until the child is three years old, giving them the gift of time together. This is beneficial for the child’s development.
The reason is that when parents return home exhausted from work and have to handle housework and childcare, they lack the energy to connect the characters’ emotions and actions while reading, as described above.
Of course, I understand the economic and social participation issues that make this difficult. However, I believe that the amount of time parents spend with their child and their mental state during that time significantly impact the child’s future.
Ultimately, that time will either help or burden the parents in the future.
Because I am more “Introverted” than 95% of people, I want to shine a light on “Introverted” children and give them opportunities to develop their talents.
“Finding out what a child needs” can feel like the most challenging task in parenting.
However, understanding a child’s level of “Extraversion” can make this task smoother. Knowing the child’s characteristics in advance allows parents to provide a more favorable environment for their child.
Moreover, understanding a child’s “Extraversion” level can help support the child’s growth in different areas.
“Introverted” children do not draw attention to themselves as “Extraverted” children do. However, that does not mean they do not need attention from those around them. Here are some ways parents can help “Introverted” children:
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Make them feel loved
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Provide a place where they can be alone
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Make them aware that taking breaks is necessary
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This may seem obvious. However, in reality, the world still seems to be made for “Extraverted” people. Schools and workplaces are typical environments of this nature.
As a result, “Introverted” children often feel they don’t belong, feel inferior, or feel out of place. Depending on the temperament of family members like parents or siblings, some children may even feel this way at home.
At school, “Extraverted” children who are vocal and active stand out. Young children find it difficult to understand why they feel they don’t belong, feel inferior, or feel out of place.
Here is where parents come in. Parents need to help “Introverted” children understand themselves and repeatedly assure them that there is nothing wrong with them.
Teach them that people are born with different temperaments. Some children love being surrounded by people and being active, while others prefer quiet time and being alone.
More to come later.