Anya often says, you know, even if she gets into danger, it’s okay because Mom will come to her rescue. The reason that child can laugh and play happily is because Yoru-san has become a safe haven for her9

 

“Wow!? Who gave my ball to Tobio!!?”
“Wow!? Sorry. When did that happen!?”
Thunk…!
“!? Tobio is strong…!!”
“Miwa-chan, since Dad and Mom said they’ll be late again today, wanna go practice?”
“Let’s go!!”
“Good job, Coach Kageyama~!”
“Tobio, it’s game day today, so try not to touch the ball too much, okay?”
“Okay. I like the gym.”
“Oh really~? What do you like about it?”
“The colors and the smell.”
This is a flashback to the baby and childhood days of Kageyama from ‘Haikyuu!!’.

Close your eyes and try to picture your child.
What comes to mind is probably not a child who dislikes homework, throws food, or wakes you up crying in the middle of the night.
It’s the image of the child you imagined in your heart before you were blessed with your child.

That child probably snugly fit into your arms, a cute and gentle baby, right?
Your adorable child, growing up, smiles happily when you push them on a swing.
Maybe they’ll excel in their studies, be good at sports, or be so cute that they attract attention from the opposite sex.
As mentioned above, we all have desires for how we want our children to be.
However, the reality of everyday parenting is far from dreaming; it’s a constant battle.
Children refuse to eat breakfast, dislike getting dressed, and won’t put on their shoes.
Just going out can be a hassle.
And when spending time with your child, you can’t even enjoy a leisurely meal.

Everyone must surely feel nostalgic for the times when they could enjoy a meal with just their spouse.
The daily grind described above is far from the ideal parenting you envisioned.
Why is it so difficult to raise children to be the ‘ideal children’ you imagined?
There’s an abundance of advice for parents out there.
Parenting classes, parenting blogs, parenting books…
You might even be given advice on how to put your child to sleep.
The overwhelming amount of information can be daunting.
Moreover, the frustrating part is that much of it doesn’t apply to parenting your own child; it’s all full of contradictions.

Despite humanity having been parenting for 400,000 years, why haven’t we figured out the right way to do it?

Why is parenting so difficult?
The answer I’m currently considering is that the advice from grandparents, friends, pediatricians, etc., which is meant with good intentions, ignores the biggest factor that influences a child’s growth: ‘genetics (DNA)’.
You can’t learn the full extent of ‘genetics (DNA)’ in biology class at school.
‘DNA’ doesn’t just determine whether your body is thick or thin, whether your hair is curly or straight, or whether you’re good-looking or not.
‘DNA’ also determines the structure of our brains and how we face life.
Considering that ‘genetic information’ has a significant impact on individuals’ development, personality, and behavior, we arrive at the conclusion that there is no correct way to parent.
However, there is a better way.

That method is to understand your child’s ‘genetic’ characteristics and guide them to become the best version of themselves.
There is no one correct way to parent that applies to every child.
By deriving the correct parenting method unique to your child based on their ‘genetic’ characteristics, you can discern what is truly necessary for your child among the overflowing information in the world and from the adults who want to give advice, ultimately reducing the stress of parenting.
When children have problems, parents often become increasingly frustrated, blame themselves, or wonder what they’re doing wrong.
However, research shows that children’s behavior is not so much influenced by parents as it is born from within.
In the early 1930s, Mary Ainsworth observed 25 infants intensively over a period of two years from birth.
Through extensive observation, it was found that babies’ personalities emerge early on, and there were systematic differences in irritability, activity level, and response to new people or situations.
Furthermore, these differences persisted consistently across different environments and times.
A baby who cries a lot cried a lot at home and at the research institute.
An active child was active both at home and at the research institute.
Most importantly, it’s worth noting that the differences in children’s behavior observed were largely unrelated to the actions taken by parents.

To be continued.

 

“Tobio, did you intentionally weaken your serve in the second half of the match?”
“…Yeah.”
…It’s obvious. He thinks it wasn’t a good thing to do…
“Why did you decide to do that?”
“…I thought the match would end too quickly. I wanted to keep playing for much longer.”
“…If you get stronger, you’ll be able to play more and more. You’ll be able to play more volleyball.”
“…!?”
“…If you get stronger, I’m absolutely certain that someone even stronger will appear in front of you.”
A childhood reminiscence of Kageyama from ‘Haikyuu!!’.