Hisoka belongs to no one but himself. It’s because he understands that he is the strongest3


‥My father is a silver medalist in judo at the All Japan level. My mother is second in Japan in the high jump. Entrusted with the hope of fulfilling the unfulfilled desire of not becoming number one, “I want my child to become a top athlete,” I was born…
“Yoh-chan, here’s your protein for today. Don’t forget to get some carbohydrates later.”
“After training, study tactics. Understand the trends in soccer.”
…A global major sport. In order to become the best player in soccer, I received elite education every day…
“Wow, nice shot, Yoh. Your accuracy has improved in the past month.”
“Yoh-chan, if you keep this up, you can become the world’s best striker.”
…Honestly, I wanted to play more with my friends…
…Because my parents were happy, I played soccer. I thought I was loved…
“So you’re saying the numbers aren’t enough!? Nutrition management is your job, so do it properly!”

“Is it all my fault!? Maybe your training is bad!?”
“Huh!? If you keep this up, you won’t make it pro. What are you gonna do!?”
“Oh, come on! Why did you even marry me for!? What for!?”
“If Yoh doesn’t become the best in the world, I’ll divorce!!”
…Divorce…? No, I don’t want that… What am I…?
“Hey… are you okay!?”
“Are you… not broken!?”
“Is it just a sprain!? It’s an important leg. Answer me, Yoh!?”
“But I’ll call an ambulance just in case! I can’t believe this anymore!!”
“Ah, these people… they’re not looking at me. They only love my talent (specs), not me…
This is a flashback of the childhood of Ice Hiroshi from “Blue Lock.”

True “self-esteem” is different from having the feeling of “self-efficacy” that you can do something or the feeling of “self-usefulness” that you are useful to someone.
Having high “self-esteem” means accepting and loving yourself unconditionally.

…I received criticism from a friend and my self-esteem went down…
…I was praised by my boss and my self-esteem went up…
Many people’s self-esteem rises or falls based on evaluations from others like this.
We also hear extreme news, such as committing suicide because a lover broke up with them, or even killing the lover who dumped them.
Psychologically analyzing the above, we can conclude that the cause is that they felt completely denied by their lover and their self-esteem approached zero.

Why do we care so much about the evaluations of others?
I speculate that one of the reasons is that people are born in a state where they cannot do anything by themselves.
As Portman called it “physiological prematurity,” newborn babies can do nothing for themselves except breathe.
As they get older, they acquire language skills and become able to eat and excrete by themselves.
However, children cannot earn money by themselves.
Children who cannot earn money by themselves have no choice but to obey their parents.
If they anger their parents, if they are disliked by their parents, they might not be able to eat… Both children and parents may not be conscious of it, but for children, evaluations from parents are a matter of life and death.
Furthermore, many parents expect their children to be “good kids” who listen well to their teachers at school.

Therefore, even evaluations from teachers at school are a matter of survival for the children themselves.
When I do “counseling” as a “certified psychologist,” I find that the root of most people’s problems lies in their “relationship with their parents in childhood.”
By responding appropriately to a baby’s demands, such as a parent, the baby will smile at the parent when they see them, cling to them when they feel anxious or scared, and cry when they can’t see them.
Bowlby called this interactive relationship between babies and parents “attachment.”
“Attachment” is said to be formed around six months after birth.
A parent’s ability to judge a baby’s demands appropriately is an important factor in healthy “attachment formation.”

Also, Ainsworth, an American psychologist, argued that by relying on the “secure base” nurtured by the “attachment relationship” with parents, children can explore the outside world.
In other words, if children do not build appropriate “attachment relationships” with their parents during infancy and childhood, it is highly likely that they will become adults who cannot build long-term relationships with others.
The reason for this is that there is no “secure base” that says it’s okay to explore anywhere.

Ainsworth conducted an analysis of “attachment formation” using the “Strange Situation Procedure,” which involves briefly separating children from their mothers and reuniting them.
As a result, four patterns were found:

A-type (avoidant type): Even when reunited with their mother, they try to avoid their mother with a cool attitude.
B-type (secure type): They resist separation from their mother at first, but after a while, they start playing alone, and when they are reunited, they are happy.
C-type (ambivalent type): When reunited with their mother, they show violent reactions such as hitting.
D-type (disorganized type): They show confusion or confusion when reunited with their mother.

It is difficult to regain the “attachment formation” and “secure base” that were not built, or were built in an abnormal way, due to the influence of parents or other caregivers during infancy and childhood.
The reason is that in order to truly regain it, you have to go back to when you were a baby and start over.
Therefore, even if you rebuild your relationship with your parents at the adult stage, you cannot truly acquire “attachment formation” and “secure base.”
However, isn’t it sad that we cannot live a happy life with low “self-esteem” influenced by our parents, and even if we objectively think about it… it’s understandable that it was tough when you were a child, but aren’t you already an adult? You should figure it out yourself, shouldn’t you?
To break free from excessive dependence on evaluations from others, it is necessary to rewrite the worldview that was acquired during childhood when you were young and powerless.

…I can’t live without being evaluated by others…
…So, I act to be evaluated by others…
It is necessary to realize such a worldview and the behavioral patterns that arise from it.
And rewrite that worldview.
…As an adult, I won’t die even if I’m not evaluated by others…
…I don’t need to make being recognized by others the motivation for my actions…


“Yo Hiori. You’re extraordinary.”
“You’re a genius, Ice. You were born with physical abilities and a refined ball touch. Your soccer IQ is outstanding, and your left-footed kicking sense is too good.”
“Too good…?”
“But in the end, your determination in front of the goal is average. Your heart and body are misaligned… Ice, you don’t really like soccer, do you?”
“…Yes. It’s amazing, isn’t it, Kuro? Those who understand, understand.”
“I’m an analyst. If you continue like this, Ice, you won’t beat me.”
“…I see. Kuro, do you like not being expected?”
“I’ve been expected all my life. That’s probably… why I started to hate soccer…”
“That’s average.